My number one goal, well beyond trading and making money, is to simply live the best possible life I can each and every day. A life that has complete control of time and choices. Sure, this costs money, but I have clearly learned that the best things in life are free. Loving and being loved by your family, having healthy strong relationships and time to follow your passions and live the life you choose to live are some of the best and most important parts of life.
A weekend in Vegas playing the tables and taking in a Cirque Du Solei show is not cheap. It costs money to have that weekend; but attaining the few thousand dollars it will cost you is not hard to do. Building a deep loving marriage that lasts a life time or raising a child properly can be much more challenging. Offer me a big chunk of money or the recipe for an amazing life of happiness and healthy relationships with loved ones, there is nothing to think about. But, what if we could have whatever we want? Imagine that… The purpose of this piece is to share some insights that help create the belief system that leads to an amazing life with no limits. Some of these insights might just help you become a better trader and investor with no limits, have an incredible loving family with no limits, become an amazing person with no limits, and so much more…
Like I talked about in my last article, everything we do in life is driven by our belief system. Let’s move backward one step at a time. Again, actions stem from behavioral patterns, and behavioral patterns stem from beliefs. It is at the level of beliefs that decisions are made, and moreover, where your ability to differentiate reality from illusion lies. The reality is that you can achieve just about any goal you can think of. The illusion is that you think you can’t. When you live by a set of core values and unshakeable convictions you become stronger and less fearful. Life’s journey is an exciting marathon for which you have and control the rule book and roadmap. Without them you are tossed and blown around by the struggles of the moment. Proper core values and convictions allow us to live life in our hopes, dreams, and goals… Not in our fears and doubts.
If you can do this, it may help you become a more successful person and maybe a better trader and investor. The challenge is that people grow up risk averse, and with that mindset, fear of more risk enters the equation which holds you back. Risk of loss and failure are the two big ones. We are all conditioned from a young age to not make mistakes, which is so WRONG. The only way a person can overcome the paralyzing fear of risk is by focusing on the possibility and opportunity that the change will bring. This is a hard exercise for the mind because everywhere we look or whoever we talk to, opportunity is met with cynicism and doubt, not encouragement to take risk. Some of this comes from the fact that we think we have 100% control of the risk, and that is a big illusion. As much as we don’t want to admit it, we can never have control of all the risk (and that’s ok), the faster you understand that, the faster you will be free to start down the path of no limits.
Dealing with risk of loss and adversity has its benefits… When I was younger, in addition to trading, I also worked very hard, sacrificed a ton and built someone else’s company based on a promise. After a few years, I realized the promise meant nothing, I had been lied to. The day I realized it felt like the worst day of my life. I felt like a sucker, I was angry, deflated and so much more. Looking back, it was one of the best days of my life because it drove me to create my own path, to become an even better trader and investor and attain complete control of time and choices. It also drove me to share with others as too many people spend their precious life building someone else’s empire. The pain of that experience far exceeded the fear of the risk which is the threshold for change. I also learned that just when things seem like they are falling apart, they are actually falling right into place.
So how do we change? Can we change?
The Illusion of Will Power:
90 percent of coronary bypass patients go back to their old, unhealthy eating habits within two years of their operation.
The majority of dieters regain all their weight within a year—or wind up even heavier than when they started.
Most who stop drinking start again.
We profoundly overestimate our willpower. Why? How? We make bold resolutions when the urges are minimal. For example: Right after you eat that unhealthy fatty cheeseburger, you feel sick and declare that you’re going on a diet and actually believe that you will. However, at that moment you’re forgetting how good that burger is when your actually hungry.
Low Urge = Easy Will Power Statements
High Urge = Nearly Impossible Will Power
However, people do change and it’s not hard to do. Decide who you want to be and simply start behaving like that person you want to become. Instead of wondering how to change and what actions to take, simply ask yourself: What would they do? Many studies have shown that when it comes to how we form beliefs about ourselves we tend not to look inward as you might think. Instead, we observe our own external behavior. When we see ourselves in action, our self-concept molds itself to explain that reality. By far the most effective way to move toward change is to act like you’ve already achieved it. Don’t play mind-games with yourself. The way to become a healthy person is to act like one.
If you want to become:
To become the person you want to be, act out the change you want. Day by day, the evidence of the new you will be undeniable. The person your pretending to be is now the person you are…