The handshake economy

Making every touch point count in a touchless world

A Lesson from Italy

I am Italian. When an Italian shakes your hand, something different happens. We don't just grab your hand. We are present. We look you in the eyes and we smile, even if only for a few seconds. This isn't just a cultural habit. It's an art form that's disappearing from the modern tech driven societies, and with it, we're losing something fundamental about what it means to be a person both in business and in life.

The silent crisis

The data tells a concerning story. Millions of Gen Z and Millennials around the world communicate more with digital tools than through face-to-face. A 2024 study from Gen Z research firm DCDX found that Gen Z spent 112 days on their phones in 2024, with daily average screen time surpassing 7 hours .

Consider now Starbucks human investments in 2025. The coffee giant recently made large investments in retraining staff on something that should be natural, looking customers in the eyes, remembering their names, making genuine connections to create a unique customer experience. Starbucks is investing in over 40 hours of comprehensive training focused on what previous generations learned before they could read. We're living through the “great disconnect”, and some retail corporations are spending millions trying to re-teach humans how to be human and capture new customers.

Eye contact is becoming rare, including in Italy to be very honest. Handshakes feel awkward and after Covid have lost importance. We've automated our lives and outsourced our smiles, to the point where the riskiest thing you can do is reach out your hand and do it as you mean it.

What becomes scarce becomes valuable

Here's the paradox: In a world desperate for digital connection, and constantly checking for digital updates, genuine human touch has never been scarcer. And we remember from economics studies in school, what becomes scarce increases of value.

Some private schools like Latin School of Chicago have formal TOWER (Treat Others With Etiquette & Respect) curriculum that teaches handshakes, eye contact, and proper introductions to 5th graders. Schools teach handshakes, eye contact, and proper introductions as foundational Level One etiquette skills, the same way they once taught cursive and typewriting. What was once learned naturally through social interactions, religious practices, now requires formal teaching. Deloitte Access Economics forecasts that soft skill-intensive job will account for two-thirds of all jobs by 2030, compared to half of all jobs in 2000.

The science of touch

When I tell people that everything starts with a handshake and that a handshake matters more than a resume, they think I'm a bit old fashion. I'm not actually. I'm am betting on what I call the “Italian Advantage”. The ability of forging relations and building trust via daily human interactions.

University of Iowa professor Greg Stewart found that a firm handshake is "more important, in fact, than dress or physical appearance" and "seems to be a trigger that sets off an interviewer's overall impression of a person”. Studies on business collaboration found that teams who shook hands before working together performed better than those who didn't. Business experiment participants assigned to shake hands in business negotiations showed more cooperative behavior and achieved better outcomes than those who didn't.

Your handshake isn't just a greeting. It's a signal of partnership and collaborative attitude. It's a promise that creates a neurological response in both people. It builds trust before people starts any conversation.

The power of listening in a loud world

In Ruma Bose's book "Mother Teresa, CEO," there's a story that changed the way I think about the way we communicate. Bose describes meeting Mother Teresa for the first time, traveling halfway across the world to Calcutta, India.

Mother Teresa had a practice that made her famous. One of the eight leadership principles Bose describes in his book is: "The Power of Silence." When Mother Teresa met someone, she would hold their hands and listen, truly listen, in absolute silence. In so doing she made her interlocutor feel as the most important person in the world.

She built one of the largest humanitarian organizations in history, working across over 100 countries with more than a million volunteers thanks to this approach. As she was building a global foundation, she never lost sight of the person standing in front of her. This is what we've lost in our distracted, always-on world. The ability to make someone feel heard.

Being liked over being skilled

Here's the hard truth that most people won't tell you: You'll get the job over someone more qualified if they like you more. Likability is your superpower. You'll win the contract even if your competitor has better qualifications. You'll build the lasting relationship even if someone else is more technically skilled.

We grew up believing skills matter most. They don't always do. Connection does. Likability does. Being trusted and remembered does. And it all starts with how you show up in those first few seconds when you shake hands.

Post-COVID, we've all grown more wired and less connected. AI can write code, send emails for you, create art, analyze markets, and perform surgery. It can even serve you a lavender cappuccino. But it cannot shake your hand. It cannot look you in the eye. It cannot make you feel appreciated and loved. That's not a limitation of technology. That's your competitive advantage.

What is a meaningful handshake?

When you reach for someone's hand, you're can create a moment that both of you will remember. Here's how to make it impactful:

Lock eyes first. Don't look away. This is about acknowledgment. You're saying without words: I see you and I am interested in learning more about who you are.

Shake hand firmly. Not crushing, not limp. The research is specific, too soft and you communicate uncertainty; too hard and you trigger anxiety. Firm enough to signal confidence and respect.

Hold for three seconds. Not longer. Studies show that extending beyond three seconds makes people uncomfortable and can undermine the relationship you're trying to build. Three seconds are long enough to make the moment real, short enough to feel natural.

Be present. This isn't a business contract you're trying to complete quickly. It's a moment you're treating with importance. Put down your phone. Stop looking around the room. Give this person these three seconds of undivided attention. If your handshake doesn't get reciprocated, stand tall. Smile. Walk away with pride. Not everyone will understand the importance of this hand shake. That's their loss, not yours. Don’t take it personally, next one will be better.

The 100-handshake challenge

Here's an experiment for you, and I want you to take it seriously: Count every handshake you give this week. Not just new people. Your neighbor. The person who makes your coffee. Your colleague you pass every day. The person at the gym you've smiled at but never spoken to. Seek to shake as many hands as possible, without making it awkward.

Can you reach 100 in a week? Most people think that's impossible. In Italy 100 hands shake a week is the minimum. Every handshake is an opportunity. It's a way of seeing people around you. It's a way to show gratitude for their friendship and for being who they are.

Track it. Count it. Watch what changes. Not just in how people respond to you, but in how you experience the world. When you commit to meeting people, really meeting them, everything starts changing.

Why this matters now more than ever

We’re starting to see the greatest skills gap in modern history, and it has nothing to do with technology. Stanford University found that soft skills drive 75% of career success, yet we're are not investing to develop them. Many corporate learning and development departments still underestimate soft skill training, focusing instead on teaching technical capabilities such as coding that AI will soon build more economically.

Meanwhile, we're raising children that prefers social media interactions to face-to-face conversation. For millions of Gen Z, screens is the way to communicate as they feel more comfortable talking online than in person. Pressure is building. The workplace of 2030 will require skills that the workforce doesn't have right now.

Unless you become the exception.

The Handshake Economy is already here. It's an economy where human connection is the new superpower, where what's scarce increase of value, where your ability to make someone, smile can accelerate your career more than your degree or your resume. While everyone else is building their online presence and perfecting their LinkedIn profiles and optimizing their digital authority, you can build something they can't outsource, buy, or automate: real human connection, one handshake at a time.

Be the person people remember

In my Italian culture, we understand something fundamental: Business happens between people, not companies. Deals are made over long meals, not rushed coffee meetings. You can build trust through your presence, not power points presentations. And it all begins with how you present yourself when you first meet someone.

In this digital world, be authentic. In a world of screens, be present and listen. In a world of digital noise, be the human touch people have are desperately seeking.

Your handshake isn't just a greeting. It's you participating to the Handshake Economy, where connection is money, presence is power, and what's scarce is becoming valuable.

Start your 100-handshake challenge right away. Track it and watch what transform your career and your life. Because while everyone else is perfecting their digital presence, you'll be focusing on something more powerful: the ability to make every person you meet feel like a million bucks.

And in the end, that's not just good business. That's what it means to a good person.