The Art of Asking

Real Estate is a business that is all about making deals. There is really only one way to make deals, Ask! There is a great (little known) book called The Aladdin Factor, by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen – it is truly one of those books that changed my life. It taught me the art of asking for what I wanted and needed: both in business, investing and in my personal life.

Here are some of the lessons on the art of asking that I learned from The Aladdin Factor:

• The art of asking is skill we are born with. We are meant from our nature to ask questions to learn and to get what we want. So why don’t we? If you think about any small child (2-4 years old) you have ever met, what are they masters at? Asking questions. What is that? Why does it work that way? Can I have that? Will you help me?… Sound familiar? What do most adults do when a child asks these questions non-stop? “If you ask me that question one more time…….” So our nature is to ask and we are taught not to ask. So we now need to reteach ourselves how to ask. 

• “No” is another reason we don’t ask. We are afraid that someone will say NO to us. What does the NO really mean? Well, most of us think there must be something wrong with us… we take it personally, it’s not personal. This is another important lesson I learned from a book called The Four Agreements. The book gave me tools that helped me to learn how not to take things personally. What it really comes down to is that, when the answer is “NO”, it usually has nothing to do with you personally. It has to do with where the other person is coming from. Trust me, I know it’s much easier said than done. 

• Confidence – A lack of confidence comes from not knowing your stuff and a lack of experience. This is the easiest thing to change.

In real estate we must ask or NO Deal. So what tools can we use to help us get over the fear of asking?

• Make sure you are not attached to the outcome. I promise there are going to be other deals. In fact, the best thing you can do is practice on the deals you don’t care about.

• Start by building a relationship. Don’t rush into the “ask”, get to know the person better.

• Listen – People want to be heard. So just sit back and listen.

• Understand something they need out of the deal and find a way to give it to them.

• Be respectful. Follow up and follow up again.

• Ask Sincerely – Also keep it simple and people will be open to you

The last tip I’ll give you on the art of asking is that the more you ask the easier it will get, I guarantee it!

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