We all spend our time with The Angel and The Devil on our shoulders, vacillating between what we should do and what we want to do. Those little imps travel with us everywhere we go. They invade the inner sanctum of our minds at every decision we face in the day.
“I really should fix a healthy lunch.” Answered with, “…but I really want something fast today.”
“I really should just get my errands done on my way home…but I’m tired and just want to get there.”
How about, difficult discussions with people you love?
Getting your taxes done on time?
Writing that thank you note?
The list goes on and on.
If we were to really keep track during a day we’d be surprised at how often we face these kinds of decisions. I think we’d also be surprised at how often we disappoint ourselves.
It’s not different with trading.
We have the things we know we should do:
- Backtest
- Journal our trades
- Backtest
- Look ahead at the economic calendar
- Backtest
- Trading Plan/Watchlist
- Backtest
- Trade Review
We have the things we want to do:
- Take a trade
- Close a trade
We want life to be simple and (here’s the kicker) we know that if we do the things we should do then we actually do simplify our lives.
When we eat well, we have the energy to put a little more effort into eating well.
When we just get our errands done then we have less reason to be tired the next day.
When we have those difficult discussions with loved ones we’re able to love more honestly.
We know this to be true and yet it seems that we struggle at every turn.
Here’s a little trick that I use. It’s not a big deal, really, but I know for one student in particular it made ALL the difference in his trading and in his life.
I take all the items on my should list and my want list and I put them on my can list. “Can” as in ‘having the option to’.
Now when I’m faced with the decision to backtest or surf the web I’m clear that both of them are distinct and varying options.
I feel good about that because then I’m making a conscious decision about my trading and my life.
My inner dialogue goes something like this: “I can backtest and that will keep my trading skills sharp and improve my life or I can surf the web and while I may stumble across something useful it will really serve as more of a distraction.
Do I need a distraction right now?
No, actually, I’m feeling pretty attentive and positive.
Ok then, backtesting it is.”
(If the answer is, "Yes I need a distraction right now" then I allow myself that distraction. The difference is that it is now a conscious choice and not an impulsive one.)
It’s a really simple change, but one that allows me to let go of my resistance to my responsibilities and makes me feel much more in control than if I force myself to do my ‘should’ and then feeling like a spoiled brat inside because I’m resentful that I couldn’t do my ‘want’.
Honestly, I’m happier and much more productive as a result.
Do you face this same kind of polarity with your decisions? How do you overcome it?
