Last week I talked about the importance of really understanding what it is you want. I wrote about the importance of nailing down what you want; not just out of your trading, but what you want out of your life.
This week I want to make an important distinction that could have easily been missed in last week’s article.
I used the word “want” a lot in that article and only near the end did I discuss “choice” but it is really the choice that is the most important.
If we spend our time wanting, even if we think we know exactly what we want, than we spend our time focusing our energies on what we don’t have already. This is a sure-fire way to make ourselves miserable. We can deplete our energies entirely merely by focusing on want.
What is important for me to impart here is that while you DO need to identify what it is you’re really trying to manifest in your life it is the actual choice you make that becomes vitally important to your being able to create it or not.
Once you really choose an option that you find appealing you begin to assess your starting point. That immediately brings your focus to what you have. Once you’re dialed into what you have then you are building energy in your life that will help you create what it is you envisioned in the first place.
Here’s an example:
Let’s say Simon has always dreamed about being a lumberjack, but the course of his life has taken him to wherever he is now – let’s just say some office job. He gets up and goes to work every single day to support his lifestyle and he can see that he really has a lot to be grateful for, but he’s not feeling it because when he looks around him all he can see is the walls of his house, the boxiness of his car and the confines of his cubicle. Someone asks him what he wants. A new job? “No, I’d hate to have to start over new somewhere.” A better relationship? “No, we’re actually pretty comfortable with each other.” What do you want? “I want to be a lumberjack, but…” and he lists a diatribe of reasons why it won’t work or isn’t responsible. Each excuse takes him further and further away from what it is he really wants.
If he makes the choice to become a lumberjack:
Suddenly Simon decides to become a lumberjack. He hasn’t trained for it, he doesn’t know why he even wants to do it, but he has chosen to do it – once and for all. Now he’s chockfull of energy and drive. He has no idea how to go about becoming a lumberjack, but he knows he’s smart, he knows he’s got a supportive partner and resources to learn. He’s focusing, now, on what he has. His partner may even be excited to see some life breathed into Simon after all this time or…maybe Simon is able to recognize his partner as an enabler to his misery and have the strength to move on.
If he makes the choice to stick with what he’s already doing:
Maybe Simon decides to finally really be present in his current life and he realizes that if he’d really wanted to become a lumberjack he’d have done it. Since he didn’t he’s going to choose to be the best darned cubicle dweller there is because it does provide him with security and that is really what he’s wanted all along. Now he can look at security as his real choice and he’s going to recognize what he has going on in his life that provides that.
That recognition will lead to gratitude which will lead to happiness.
The point is that, one way or the other, Simon has finally made a choice. He first had to understand what it is he really wanted but he didn’t stay there. He didn’t keep on wanting.
As traders it is easy to want the end result of trade. Who doesn’t want fast, easy money?! But we have to understand what it is we’ve chosen once we step off of that starting block and entered into the race. We’ve chosen to learn and expand ourselves. We’ve chosen to do something that others don’t understand. We’ve chosen to forge a new path for ourselves and in doing so we’ve chosen to grow and expand and re-identify ourselves.
If you’re not energized by the thought of that process, perhaps you’re not ready to make the change or maybe this isn’t what you really want.
But…once you recognize the consequences of this choice you may be thrilled to start (or re-start) this journey. Now it is your task to focus on the choice. What do you have that enables you to institute the change? Good teachers, supportive friends, family or spouse? A brain that is able to learn? A discipline that is willing to re-awaken? What do you have that fuels this endeavor? Put your time, energy and focus there and you will find that you are no longer depleting yourself – you are energizing yourself and you are re-creating yourself into a trader.
Tell me 3 things that you have, right now, that enable your trading? Which of those 3 things do you think could use some more focus and attention (read: more gratefulness)? Does it feel good to redirect to what you have (vs what you don’t)?
